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La gente se siente sola por una serie de razones, incluyendo la falta de habilidad social y el aislamiento intencional. Todo el mundo experimenta soledad. Por suerte, hay  varias formas de superarlo.

1.   Date cuenta de que no estás solo. Todos somos en parte solitarios en alguna etapa de nuestra vida. Esto no significa que nos esté pasando algo malo. Los seres humanos somos particularmente propensos a la soledad durante las grandes transiciones de la vida, especialmente las realizadas para evolucionar. Pero en estas fases, hay otras alternativas, busca a personas que compartan tus nuevos intereses y pensamientos.  

 

2.    Participa en actividades. Únete a un equipo deportivo o participa en clases de deportes. Si eres muy tímido, busca actividades que se realicen en grupo para integrarte. Busca actividades en el área que te interesen en sitios web de noticias locales.

No hay que asistir a los eventos con la sola idea de hacer amigos o conocer gente. Trata de ir sin expectativas en absoluto y disfruta sin importarte lo que suceda. Busca actividades que te interesen y que también involucren a grupos de personas, como los clubes de lectura, conciertos, exposiciones de arte…

 

 

3.    No te acomodes en sentimientos negativos. En lugar de insistir en lo solo que te sientes, haz cosas para conseguir que tu mente deje fuera ese sentimiento. Sal a caminar, monta en bicicleta, ponte a leer un libro. Busca actividades y hobbies, y no tengas miedo de probar cosas nuevas. Tener experiencias diversas te da una buena base sobre situaciones que podrás comentar cuando estés con otras personas, te ayudará a entablar conversaciones que sean del interés de otras personas.

Mantente ocupado. Tener mucho tiempo libre es lo que hace que los sentimientos de soledad salgan a flote.

 

 

4.    Realiza actividades sociales por ti mismo. Muchas veces el sentimiento de soledad no es porque te falte la pareja o un amigo, sino las actividades y aficiones que compartiste con ellos.  Si echas de menos alguna actividad que solías realizar acompañado, ¡hazla!, no dejes de hacer aquello que tanto te gustaba por el simple hecho de estar solo. No es extraño estar solo y hacer cosas que habitualmente se hacen acompañado.

Llévate un libro, una revista o periódico cuando vayas a comer o tomar un café por tu cuenta, así estarás ocupado cuando normalmente estarías conversando. Ten en cuenta que la gente hace cosas en soledad para tener tiempo para estar con ellos mismos y no  pienses que la gente te mirará porque estás sentado solo pensando que no tienes amigos

 

Sin embargo, si lo que echas de menos es realizar una actividad acompañado que solías hacer en una fecha o día determinado. Busca otra actividad distinta para esa fecha concreta o día que solías hacer esa actividad especial con esa persona que echas de menos, que te haga olvidar ese momento.  Si ibas al cine con tu pareja, sal ahora a patinar, a hacer senderismo…

 

 

5.    Plantéate adquirir una mascota. Si estás realmente luchando sin compañía, considera la adopción de un perro o un gato. Tener la confianza y el afecto de un animal puede ser una experiencia profundamente gratificante.

 

RETOMA LA VIDA SOCIAL

 

1.    Llama o queda con las personas que conoces. Incluso si no son las personas con quien quieres estar ahora mismo. El contacto humano hace que te resulte más fácil socializar con los demás. Esto incluye a tu madre, al chico en el mostrador de delicatessen…

Aprende a escuchar a los demás. Escuchar a la gente, te permite profundizar en ellos y tu contacto con ellos será más fácil, evita hablar interminablemente de ti mismo.

No agotes a tus amistades o gente cercana hablando exclusivamente de ti, ellos son todo lo que tienes en ese momento.

 

 

2.    Acepta el reto de tomar la iniciativa en las relaciones sociales. No esperes a que la gente se acerque a ti, prueba a acercarte tú primero. Pregúntales si quieren conversar o tomar un café. Siempre se debe mostrar interés por otras personas antes de que ellos muestren interés por ti, si es que lo hacen.

Recuerda que estás tratando de hacerte un lugar en la vida de otra persona y ser considerado. No pienses que por el mero hecho de aparecer, ganarás amigos al instante. Puede ser un proceso largo y laborioso, y la mayoría de la gente que ya conoces tienen sus propios amigos y vida.

 

 

3.    Pasa tiempo con tu familia. Incluso si no tienes una gran relación con un miembro de la familia. Podréis compartir los amigos y conocer gente nueva juntos. Esto ayudará a disminuir esa incómoda sensación de estar solo en público.

 

 

4.    Se una presencia agradable. Atrae a las personas hacia ti proporcionándoles una compañía agradable. Muéstrate cortés en lugar de crítico. Que tus comentarios no muestren ser quisquilloso con la ropa, hábitos o el pelo de otras personas. Ellos no necesitan que se les recuerdes por ejemplo, que tienen una pequeña mancha en su camisa cuando no pueden hacer nada al respecto. No hagas comentarios sobre lo que no te gusta de ellos generando rechazo. Ellos lo que quieren oír es lo que te gusta de ellos, es decir, que te gusta su suéter o que lees su artículo… Esto no significa alardearlos o exaltarlos, pero si te gusta algo, menciónalo. Éste es uno de los mejores rompehielos a la hora de entablar conversación que te aportará confianza al tiempo que la gente llega a comprenderte y no se sienten criticados.

 

 

5.    Únete a una comunidad en Internet. El compartir tus pensamientos y experiencias, o hacer preguntas a las personas que están pasando por situaciones similares a veces puede ayudar. Los foros en línea a menudo te permiten ayudar a los demás mientras que a la vez te ayudas a ti mismo. 

Eso sí, recuerda que cuando estás en una comunidad en Internet, no todo el mundo es quien dice ser y los depredadores se alimentan de soledad.

 

 

         Extraído de wikihow.com/Deal-With-Loneliness (en inglés)

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